I know that the future depends on you and me

Becky and I spent some sobering moments on Friday grateful for each other and for our son and realizing just how fragile life is in this world. We were heartbroken for the parents who lost children in the Newtown, Connecticut, school shooting, grieving for the surviving children whose innocence was lost, and a little bit worried about the world that Paul will inherit as he grows up.

As we listened to music Friday night, my playlist shuffled to a song I hadn't listened to in a while, and I found it especially fitting considering my thoughts of the day.

Was a time I remember
Hope flashed and went dim
When assassins just happened
To do the right people in 

And love was a slogan
Coincidentally
And they told us they'd work it out
Eventually

These opening lines of “Eventually” by Carole King reminded me just how long this type of violence has been going on. Three decades before the Colombine High School shooting spree woke me to the realization that such violence can happen, there were the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr., John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy. Since then, tragic violence has tended to gravitate towards wounding large numbers of civilians. High school students. Teachers. Family members. College kids. Kindergartners. “Hope flashed and went dim” describes how it is easy to feel when these things happen.

In the swing of changing time
A man cried out for his
And every politician said
He was telling us like it is 

Yes, they walked down the angry streets
To have themselves a look-see
And they told us they'd work it out
Eventually

Already, politicians on each side of the aisle are taking advantage of the situation to further their agendas. One side calls for gun restrictions, the other side says we should arm and train public school teachers. One side blames a pervasive gun culture, the other blames individuals. And both sides will claim that the other side was the first to politicize it.

I see the choking cities
I see them tearing up this earth
I see people feelin'
That their lives have little worth

I think Carole King wrote this verse about cities choking in smog, but what about cities choking back tears? What about cities choking on violence; untreated, severe mental illness; and hatred? We have done a lot to clean our air and water. What can we, as a society, do to recognize the worth of a soul and act accordingly?

My favorite verse, the last, gives a little hope:

And I know that the future
Depends on you and me
I hope we can work it out
Eventually

The world my son inherits will be the world created by me and other adults. I know I want to help the world become a little safer, a little more loving, and a little more prepared to prevent these acts of violence than the world that has manifest itself in the past 10 to 20 years. I won't pretend here to know exactly how to do this, or to have time to expound on how I think it could be accomplished, or to have some mega inspirational words. But I know I will do something to try to change the culture and affect individuals in such a way to move us away from this kind of violence. I hope you will do what you can, too.

I just hope we can work it out
Eventually

Cloth Diapering, Day 123 (Cost of diapering)

So, many months ago, I said that I would post again about cloth diapering. It has been a success, and a big money saver for us. Here's a breakdown of what we have spent in the last 4 months. (note that we received some old-style diapers, some absorbent "inserts", and a couple of diaper covers for Paul's baby shower)

Cost breakdown:
$40 Additional Washing & Drying cost ($10/mo)
$13 Disposable Baby Wipes
$  1 Flannel for cloth wipes
$42 Purchased Cloth Diaper Covers
$23 Waterproof fabric (PUL), and drawstring, cordstops, snaps and zipper for wetbags

Total for first 4 months:
$123 for 123 days of diapering, or $30.75 each month. A good savings perhaps (I don't really follow the cost of disposables), but it gets better.

Cost breakdown for the next 4 months:

$40 Additional Washing & Drying cost ($10/mo)
$  0 Disposable Baby Wipes
$  0 Purchased Cloth Diaper Covers (but the reality will probably be that I will spend $20 on more diaper covers.
$  0 Cloth diaper/wetbag fabric
$  0 Drawstring/cordstops for wetbag

Total for the next 4 months:
$40 for 123 days of diapering, or $10 each month.

Paul has grown lots since he was first put in his "one size" cloth diaper. He fits into them better now. This diaper cover is one of my favorites, and is advertised as one that will fit babies from 8-35 pounds.

5 wk17 wk

It's lots easier to buy covers than to sew them, but homemade ones can be cute, once the time is put in for them. I made these covers with a modified Snap Happy Diaper Cover pattern. These two covers won't fit Paul for as long as the Flip diapers, but they have been extremely helpful in letting us go 3 days between doing diaper laundry.

1st2nd

I'll post about cloth diaper accessories (wetbags, bucket, snappi, wipes, etc) later.

Speaking the Truth in Love

I've been told that if you want to stay out of trouble, never talk about religion or politics. This is a blog post about both.

It is not a blog post about how or for whom you should vote, and it is not a sermon about where you should go to church. Instead, it is a thought about how our religion should affect the way we approach our politics.

Four years ago, I wrote a post on Facebook titled “My favorite quotes from Barack Obama Supporters.” It was a biting and sarcastic collection of quotes and paraphrases that I thought demonstrated the foolishness of the ideology supporting then-candidate Obama. I set the privacy settings to hide the note from a friend of mine who was the source of several quotes, and I went to play dodge ball.

When I checked Facebook later, I was saddened to find that Facebook's privacy setting was not as effective as it should have been. This friend had discovered the note and was very hurt by what I had written and the tone behind the piece.

That night as I deleted the note and apologized to my friend, some words began ringing in my ears. “Speaking the truth in love,” the words said. Where was that phrase from? I wondered. The phrase continued to repeat in my mind. “Speaking the truth in love.”

The next day, I Googled the phrase and found it. It is in the book of Ephesians, Chapter four:

That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.

I started to understand why those words, whose source I could not name, came to my mind repeatedly. “Speaking the truth in love” is about coming to Christ rather than be distracted and caught by ideas that are tossed around and exchanged with “cunning craftiness” and the intent to deceive.

Specifically, I began to think that “speaking the truth in love” means putting forward what we believe in an attitude of love. It means that we say what we believe is true without succumbing to the temptation to treat other people in an un-Christlike way.

Looking back on my Facebook note, I can say that I still stand by nearly everything I said in that note. My opinion of policies and politics have not changed dramatically in the past four years. But I vehemently disagree with and regret the fact that in that specific instance, I demeaned real people and mocked their reasons for supporting their candidate.

I am tired of hearing people say unkind and demeaning things about people who differ from them politically. Even though I plan to vote for Mitt Romney, it hurts especially when I hear unkind things said about people who support the reelection of President Obama, because some of my best friends are enthusiastic supporters of his. They are not evil people. They are not stupid. Instead, they believe that the actions he has taken as president have made, or will lead to, a more just America with a more robust economic future with more hope for more people. I disagree with them on those points and on interpretations of facts, but I don't have to agree with them to see them as respectable, good people with valid views.

George Albert Smith, who was once the prophet and leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mitt Romney's church) once said, “Whenever your politics cause you to speak unkindly of your brethern, know this, that you are upon dangerous ground.”

Dieter Uchtdorf, a current leader in the church, had this to say. (Although he speaks about sin and sinners, I think it can be equally applied to the way we treat people whose “sin” is to hold a different political belief.)

I am not suggesting that we accept sin or overlook evil, in our personal life or in the world. Nevertheless, in our zeal, we sometimes confuse sin with sinner, and we condemn too quickly and with too little compassion. … We cannot gauge the worth of another soul any more than we can measure the span of the universe. Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father. Once we understand that, we can begin to understand how we should treat our fellowmen.

Then there is the commandment of Jesus himself: “Love your enemies. Bless them that curse you,” he said. He also counseled, “By this shall men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

I have room for improvement. Occasionally as I firmly express my political views, I use sarcasm, try to be witty, or express my views in ways that could be seen as offensive to some who disagree with me. In these last few days until the election, I will be speaking out (or, rather, “typing out” since most of these conversations will be online) more. I hope that I, and many others, will remember to speak what we see as the truth with an attitude of love, not with condemnation and not with name calling. And no matter who wins the race for president and other offices in this country on November 6, let us all move forward and work together to solve the country's problems—problems which cannot be solved by anger and meanspirited politics.

Cloth Diapering, Day 5

We found out that Paul really dislikes wet and dirty diapers, regardless of the brand. He won't sit in them for more than 5 minutes before his whimpers escalate to piercing wails that make me think that the ceiling fan must have fallen on him or that the monsters under the bed may have started water boarding my sweet baby. This means that we go through A LOT of diapers (10-14) each day. We're currently on day 5 of cloth diapering, and it has been a success so far. If we had continued with disposables, we would be out by now. We used around 200 diapers in the 3.5 weeks since his birth. That's some serious investment. I'm surprised at how quickly Paul runs through our stash of cloth diapers. I sure hope that we've got enough to last till laundry day through his potty training days.

I'll post later on about successes/failures in cloth diapering.

Leading music in Primary is the greatest

For the past few weeks, I have been thinking about how much I love my calling at church. I have been leading the music in Primary (my church's Sunday School for children) for nearly a year and a half. It has brought a lot of happiness into my life.

I was called to be chorister after I had been serving as a ward clerk for about four and a half years. I can honestly say I loved being a clerk---It was my favorite calling at the time. Although the outward appearance makes it look like a calling that centers on paperwork and budget tracking, I had discovered that clerkship has a deeply spiritual component. But eventually, I found myself longing for something different. I wanted to spend more time interacting with others and less time compiling reports.

I was kind of nervous when I learned that the new opportunity would involve teaching songs to a group of about 30 kids. I knew that most primary songs were not written with my bass voice in mind. I knew that teaching the music would usually require  singing the songs by myself in front of the kids and their primary teachers; although I have a decent amount of musical talent, I have always felt very self-conscious about my voice as a solo instrument. But I was excited to try this new calling.

And I LOVED it. I honestly believe I have the best calling in the church, and I kind of hope I get to be primary chorister for a good 10 years or so.

Here are 10 reasons why I love being Primary Chorister:

1. Every week, at least one or two kids will say something wildly hilarious. It brightens my week and gives me something to look forward to. Every week after church, I spend a while telling Becky the fun stories.

2. It has expanded my artistic abilities. I'm not a big fan of downloadable cookie cutter song helps, partly because I balk at the price of printer ink, so I draw most of the posters I use to help the children learn the songs. It's fun and effective, I think.

3. I love seeing the children learn the gospel. When I teach them songs, I strive to take at least some time to define the words in the song and testify of the gospel principles taught in the songs. It's great to see the music help the gospel come to life for them. Also, I get to observe the way they live the gospel, and hear them give talks. It gives me hope for the rising generation. These are good kids!

4. I love interacting with the children. Partly because I have several younger siblings and lots of younger cousins, I've always been comfortable to talking to kids. When I served a mission, I taught many more children than adults. Their innocence and faith is inspiring. This calling is a nice continuation that keeps me young. I think it also helps prepare me for raising my own children.

5. This calling has expanded my musical abilities. I am much more comfortable singing in front of people.

6. I feel like I can (and should strive to be) a role model for the children I teach. I want to set a positive example for them and therefore help reinforce what their parents teach them.

7. The children help me realize more about what Christ meant when he commanded us to be like children. Many of them exemplify unconditional love for each other and for other people. I remember one time that an elderly woman from a different ward, whom no one in the room knew, came and just sat in the back of the primary room. When one of the primary leaders acknowledged her and said hello, a 3-year-old girl on the front row jumped up, ran to the back, and hugged the woman. Shouldn't we all be more like her?

8. My teaching abilities have increased. If I am ever called to teach a group of adults, I think I will be much better for them than if I had not been called to teach children.

9. In what other calling do you get to dance the robot, pretend to be a snowman, make children laugh, pretend to make popcorn balls, and sing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" backwards at lightning speed?

10. Every now and then, there's food. One of the primary teachers makes some great cookies and cake pops for her class, and occasionally I get some leftovers. MMMMMmmm good.

Why I want to try cloth diapering

For anyone curious why I am interested in using cloth diapers with the little one on his way, let me expound. The only experience I have personally had so far with cloth diapers is with the rectangular prefolds,  rubber pants, diaper pins, and swishing dirty diapers in the toilet 20+ years ago. That didn't make cloth diapering seem very appealing, so when several of my friends said that they were using cloth diapers, I wondered why anyone would want to put themselves through that torture.

Cloth diapers as I remember them- Not as easy as disposables. 

Fortunately, my cloth-diapering friends appreciate cloth diapers enough to explain the advances that have been made in the last 20 years in cloth diapering, and there is plenty of information about cloth diapers in the blogosphere. After reading up entirely too much on the subject, I've decided to write up a list on why I want to give the new-style ones a try.

The cloth diapers that have been developed lately can be almost as easy as disposables. 

1. Economy: They're cheaper than disposables, even when accounting for the cost of laundering-- especially considering that you can either use them with a second child, or pass them on to another new mom.


2. They're cute! I know that some disposable diapers have designs on the front, but none can compare with the cute colors and patterns of cloth.
   

   

   Some of my favorite cloth diaper colors- even cuter than disposables, too! (click the image to see a closeup of my favorite pattern)



3. Fewer blowouts: Face it... if you would have to wash an adorable outfit from a disposable-diaper blowout, why not just wash a cloth diaper, and be done with it. When I first read about cloth diapers having fewer blowouts (0-1/month instead of 4/week), I thought that it was because these cloth diapering moms were biased, so I mentioned it to my mom, who dealt with plenty of both cloth and disposable diapers. She emphatically agreed that cloth diapers contain blowouts much better than disposables.


4. We don't have to upgrade our trash pickup. Right now, we hardly generate any garbage (we've been averaging ~32 gal/mo), so the monthly bill is almost nothing. Many people also cite the many environmental benefits of cloth diapering. That should probably be one of my reasons, too-- but sometimes, even more than saving the planet, I like saving the wallet.


5. Quicker potty training: Since baby feels the natural consequences of wetting himself, he can't go all day without a change and still be comfortable in a cloth diaper (although some may consider this a negative aspect of cloth diapering).


6. Fewer emergency runs to the grocery store. I might have to run the wash at an inconvenient time, but at least I won't have to make an emergency grocery store run just for diapers.

That about covers the reasons for now. More updates will come as we have real experiences with cloth diapers.

In defense of daylight savings time

The thing I like least about Daylight Savings Time is that I always worry about what time I will get up the morning that the time changes. Since the only alarm clock I have is my cell phone, I wonder: Will the phone actually change time automatically at the appointed hour? What if there is some glitch that keeps it from changing, and then I sleep in an extra hour?

But very close to this worry, my biggest pet peeve about Daylight Savings Time is this:

Lots of people love to hate on Daylight Savings Time.

You may have seen this brilliant meme:

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Count Rugan, fictional inventor of Daylight Savings Time"][/caption]

Facebook has facilitated the process of hating on DST by allowing memes like this to spread quickly. A year or two ago, I saw one with a picture of a Native American proclaiming that only the government would cut a foot off of one end of a rope, attach it to the other end, and think that the rope is longer.

It seems like lots of people look for, find, and take opportunities to make Daylight Savings time sound like a stupid waste of time.

I am writing today to defend Daylight Savings Time. Sure, hating it is pretty popular, and it is not perfect, but I have come to the conclusion that it actually makes sense.

Here is why: throughout the year, the earth's tilt, revolution on its axis, and orbit around the sun combine to make pretty big changes in the moments the sun rises and sets in different parts of the year, and the amount of time your particular corner of the earth is bathed in sunlight. But, being creatures of habit who have semi-regular work schedules, it is hard to take advantage of the extra sunlight in the summer. Unless we decided to suddenly start getting up earlier during the summer, we'd waste a lot of daylight before we even get up in the morning.

Therefore, we have Daylight Savings Time. (It inconveniences us two days a year---actually the inconvenience isn't that terrible since our electronics change our clocks for us!) Therefore, without having to change our sleep and work schedules, the hours that the sun is in the sky coincide better with the hours that we are awake, and we have more sunlight after we get off work in the evening.

Example: Let's say you get up at 6 a.m. and go to bed at 11 p.m. If the sun rises at 5 a.m. and sets at 8 p.m., then an hour of sunlight is gone by the time you woke. And then you get home from work at 6 p.m., and two hours later, there is no more sun. That gives you only two hours to work in the garden, take your kids to the park, ride a bike, or test the latest solar-powered invention you're working on.

But let's say we take one hour from one night when clocks spring forward. Suddenly, you and the sun both get up at the same time---you can enjoy every single moment of sunshine (except for those eight hours you are trapped in the office...). When you get home at 6 p.m.,  you have three hours to experience the sunshine before it sets.

I don't know whether the hours I cited above bear any resemblance to real life, but they illustrate the principle.

The next time you feel the urge to cry out against Daylight Savings Time sucking away an hour of your life, please remember two things:

1. My argument above, and

2. That hour will be given back to you later this year, when everything falls back into place.